PhD vs OnlyFans

Because sometimes life's biggest decisions need a spreadsheet 📊

Ramen & Research

Where coffee meets quantum physics

Lights & Likes

Where selfies meet success

Annual Stipend

$30,000 ☕ Coffee Money

Years Left in Program

3 years 🚶 Marathon

Current Stress Level

8/10 🤯 Meltdown

Publications This Year

2 papers 📚 Steady

Social Media Following

5,000 🌱 Growing

Content Comfort Level

7/10 😊 Cozy

Self-Rated Attractiveness

7/10 💫 Instagram Ready

Competition Level in Your Niche

8/10 ⚔️ Battlefield

Projected Subscribers: 2,450